hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
