Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
