We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
