well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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