so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
