My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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