I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
