he shaved USA in his pubs
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
