I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
