We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
