Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
