Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
