i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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