Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
