i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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