1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
