I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
