I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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