OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
