I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
