god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
