dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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