i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
