if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
