There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
