I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
