he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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