im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
