Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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