if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Also, beer. Big fan.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
i believe in u and ur pee
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
