i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
