I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
