1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
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