How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
i've created a new STD.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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