I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
How's work?
Spinning.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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