Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
