Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
