suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
