idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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