Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Ladies don't puke and tell
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
