Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
