There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
