What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
