My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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