well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
