I cannot find my penis.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
