how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You're like the curious george of whores
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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