a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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