what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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