So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
