Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
