Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
