My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
