I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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